Once upon a time the Stuffie was sick, and when Stuffies are sick you have to feed them Soup.
So he gathered up his soup-net and he picked up his soup-spear and he headed off through the Cold Cold Snow to hunt for the Soup.
First he ran along the edge of the Escarpment, never stopping because the soups don’t come to the edge of the escarpment, except for stopping at the traffic-lights because the traffics there are fierce.
Then he slithered down the Hill, not stopping because it is slippery there and the ice isn’t flat like proper ice.
Then he went through the Caves under the Opera House, still not stopping because the soups don’t come there either. Perhaps the soups are afraid of the subway monsters, which is pretty sensible when you think about it.
Then he came out of the caves and trudged along the Freezing Canyon between the Sex Shops. Brr! It’s too cold for soup there.
But finally he came to the Soup Place where all the soups come in the evening to get drunk. And just outside the Soup Place he set up his soup net in a whippy springy sort of soup net soup trap, and he hunched down in the shadows with his soup-spear and he waited for the Soup to arrive.
So he waited and he waited and he waited. He waited for five seconds, he waited for ten seconds, he waited for fifteen seconds – and there was the Soup! (It pays to order ahead.) Whip, snap, swoosh! went the soup net. Out he leapt from his hiding place, and with his soup-spear he bravely subdued the fiercely struggling Soup!
And when the fight was over he cut down the Soup and he picked up the Soup and he picked up some chicken and shrimp brochettes with salad and rice and a spring roll for himself, and put everything in two mighty plastic bags together with the bean sprouts and the mint leaves and the basil and all the things you don’t want to get limp, and he started back.
First he went back down the Freezing Canyon betwen the Sex Shops. Then he went back through the Caves under the Opera House where the subway monsters live. Then he slid back up the slippery Hill where the ice isn’t even flat. Then he went back along the edge of the Escarpment, stopping only for traffic lights. And finally he came Home.
And he gave the Soup to the Stuffie. And now the Stuffie is well.
Because when Stuffies are sick, you have to feed them Soup.