– He doesn’t give students enough time to get work done.

– Actually he gives students a lot of time. But he chops the time into little pieces, sticks onion in between, and pushes a stick through them.

– That’s a brochette!

– Your head is full of poo!

– How dare you say that! You crossed the line! You must tell ten people what you did before I talk to you again!

– (A few days later….) I’ve talked to a thousand people. They all agree. They said, “It’s true. His head is full of poo.”

– If the whole system works exactly according to the plan, you will be giving a music class tomorrow evening from Seattle to Montreal, and you won’t notice anything different from usual, except a few hours’ jet-lag.

– It’s strange how modern technology works: everything is the same, except worse.

– The type of humor I like requires brains, not like those random-animal jokes.

– But random-animal jokes require brains too. For example, if I say, “I found a whale in my toaster.” A stupid person would say, “Here’s a fork. See if you can get it out.” And that would be dumb! Because it’s dangerous to stick a fork into a toaster.

– Mixing with orange juice makes milk chunky.

– I know. I’ve done that. But I like it. I don’t mind chunky milk.

– That’s strange to hear, considering this is someone who doesn’t like cheese. I think cheese is all about chunky milk.

– No. The problem with cheese is that it tastes like milk when very old.

– I would say if your old milk tastes like cheese you must be really really lucky!

– Some people go through difficulties and come out ok, but some people are destroyed by events that are not even as difficult. People are very different from each other.

– It’s true that people are very different from each other, because each other is abstract but people are quite concrete.

– Sad music makes me happy, but sad movies make me sad.

– How about a sad chocolate bar? Can it cheer you up?

– There is no sad chocolate bar.

– How come? Movies come in sad and happy. Music comes in sad and happy. But chocolate bars don’t come in sad and happy. I don’t understand that.