Lifestyles of the rich and happy

The upper floor of their home is overheated and painted in a lush jungle theme, for the sake of familiarity, and it is here that they keep their first pet, an adorable eight pound pocket elephant. The lower floor has been painstakingly waterproofed, sealed to a depth of around one wellington boot, and flooded (a row of guest wellies is found by the front door). It is here that their second pet lives—a very small whale. These are people who truly love their pets, and want their pets to love each other. Since it is a simple truth that spiral staircases are almost equally inconvenient to elephants as to whales, they have had installed a pet elevator with a stepped floor like a wharf, one half wet and one half dry, in which are found a stately elephant boat for when the upstairs pet wishes to visit his downstairs friend, and a water-filled supercharged rampless-jumping whalemobile (derived from military and moving picture technologies) for when the downstairs pet wants to jump the elephant in his native environment.

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