I love my new Jedi Army knife. I’m particularly delighted by the Light Spork function.

“You’re late. Again.”

In the future, our clothes will be able to wash and fold themselves, and, once taught where, put themselves away. Continue reading Applied Bioengineering →

Two cheeses
One cheese
Half a chee

❝ God gave you a willy! But are you using it as God intended? ❞
❝ We’re … talking about the guy who invented quantum mechanics and the platypus. I’m honestly not sure I can meet that standard of weirdness. ❞

– Birdman is rated 14A in British Columbia. What does the A stand for? Continue reading Decoding Movie Certification →

– Here’s a bench where you can sit down and have your feet in the water.

– You’ll have to have long feet though.

– Yeah, like a duck.

– Ducks don’t have long feet.

– No, but they have their feet in the water. And that is the point!

– Could you close the window? I don’t have enough arm. I mean I have enough arm in number, but not enough arm in length.

– This is why cheese is better than stinky tofu. Cheese is only cheese, but stinky tofu is stinky, and tofu.

Call me a wimp, but I put lashings of aloe raita on my balrog sandwiches.